Wednesday, February 23, 2011

surprise gifts

You know those days when you walk to the mailbox and find a package? You don't remember ordering anything and it's not a holiday or anything. so with excitment you tear into the package and find a special gift and a note that says: I saw this and thought of you.

I got one of those. Found out it was coming a year ago. Can't say I was thrilled at the time. then it was here. With bright blue eyes and the most killer smile you have ever seen. My little Eli is one of those surprise gifts. Best little package. Not expected or even hoped for. Just given to me for no reason at all. With a note from God that said: Saw this little guy and thought of you.

About a year and half ago I wondered how does one know when they are done having kids? A little over a year ago I decided that one knows because they can't keep up with the ones they already have or maybe can't control them. I decided that I was done having kids. ;o) Grace is a handful and when I found out I was pregnant I felt panic. How could I handle a new baby when i can't keep up with the whirl wind of a child that I'm currently trying to raise past her toddler years.

I should of known better then to panic. God really does know what is good for me and I have to remember to let Him be and let Him do what He needs to do in my life. Elijah is what I needed to get my free bird to land for a little bit. She's so over the top in love with her baby brother that she spends a great deal of time hovering over him. standing watching him sleep, or holding him or kissing him. If I want to know where Grace is, I really just need to know where Eli is. I'm not saying she's suddenly calm and never gets herself into trouble. I think she will always be who wild child.

The other day my two darling babies made their way into my bath. Grace quietly playing on her own end of the tub, Eli floating and kicking. Eli glances at his sister, gives her his very best ornery grin, picks up both legs and slams them into the water, sending a very calcuated splash of water right into his sister's face. As she gasped and said: Leelie! That's not nice! he simply gave a giggle and went back to kicking in the water. Could it be that this tiny little guy will be able to control our free spirit of a child? Could it be that he will have just enough power and she be unable to do anything about it because she is so over the top in love with this little guy that he can do what I've not been able to do?

I love Elijah and can't imagine my life with out my surprise gift. My reminder to let go and let God. Each of my children have been a message to me and I've been wondering what Eli's message was. now I know and I'll add it to my list.

Christian - laugh. Be happy with what you have but don't be afraid to go for that goal that seems unreachable and laugh (a lot)
Andrew - love. unconditional love
Benjamin - life goes on, take time to be silly
Grace - be free to be who you are
Elijah - Let go and Let God

"I saw this and thought of you"